Caring for Someone With Dementia: Remembering the Caregiver Matters, Too
When someone you love is living with dementia or Alzheimer’s, life can begin to change in ways you never expected.
The person you once turned to for advice may now depend on you. A spouse may become a caregiver. An adult child may begin making decisions for a parent who once made decisions for them.
And somewhere between the appointments, repeated questions, changing behaviors, medications, meals, and daily responsibilities, something can easily be forgotten:
The caregiver is going through this, too.
It's Okay to Admit That Caregiving Is Hard
You can deeply love someone and still feel tired.
You can be grateful for the moments you still share and grieve what has changed.
You can want to care for your loved one and still wish you could have a day to yourself.
You can become frustrated and later feel guilty about it.
These emotions do not cancel out your love.
Dementia caregiving can bring grief, exhaustion, frustration, uncertainty, and even loneliness. Many caregivers experience these feelings quietly because they believe they should simply be stronger or more patient.
But caregivers are human, too.
Sometimes Connection Matters More Than Correction
One of the changes that can help caregivers is learning that every misunderstanding does not have to be corrected.
Your loved one may repeat a question, remember an event differently, become confused about where they are, or respond emotionally to something that seems harmless.
Instead of always asking:
"Why are they doing this?"
it may help to ask:
"What might they be feeling right now?"
Sometimes the answer is fear. Sometimes confusion. Sometimes they are simply looking for reassurance.
A calm voice, a familiar song, a photograph, a comforting activity, or gentle reassurance may be more helpful than trying to convince them that they are mistaken.
Don't Disappear From Your Own Life
Caregiving can slowly become all-consuming.
Your loved one's appointments matter.
Their medications matter.
Their safety matters.
Their needs matter.
But so do yours.
Rest when you can. Accept help when it is offered. Stay connected with people who support you. Talk about what you are experiencing. And give yourself permission to have moments when you are simply a spouse, daughter, son, sibling, friend—or yourself—not only a caregiver.
You do not have to be a perfect caregiver to be a loving one.
Walking Beside Them—Without Forgetting Yourself
Dementia may change memory and behavior, but the person you love is still a person deserving dignity, compassion, and connection.
And so are you.
Perhaps one of the most important questions during this journey isn't:
"Am I doing everything right?"
but instead:
"What do both of us need today?"
That small shift leaves room for compassion on both sides of the caregiving relationship.
Looking for More Caregiver Support?
This is only the beginning of the conversation.
For caregivers who want to explore the emotional realities of dementia caregiving more deeply, ThreeWaysToFaith offers additional supportive resources.
📖 Walking Beside You
Walking Beside You is a compassionate caregiver resource created to address the parts of dementia and Alzheimer's caregiving that aren't always talked about—the changing relationship, difficult emotions, frustration, guilt, grief, caregiving decisions, self-care, and the importance of remembering the person behind the diagnosis.
Most importantly, it makes room for the caregiver's story, too.
You can learn more about Walking Beside You and explore additional mental wellness, caregiving, faith-based, and recommended resources at:
ThreeWaysToFaith
Compassion for the person receiving the care—and the person walking beside them.
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